It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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