i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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