mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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