I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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