ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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