Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize
