How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
