You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
She told me I should be a condom model.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
