If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
