WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
You're a waste of cheezeits
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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