The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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