can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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