we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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