so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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