Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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