Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
