This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
