I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
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