I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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