apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
its liver damage thursday
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
