Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
