Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
