So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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