Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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