I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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