Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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