Christians are straight up FREAKS
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I think people are normalizing furries
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
