I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
how drunk are you?
Several
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
