Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
