bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
