Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
