So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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