but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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