I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
