what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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