Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
