im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
