It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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