Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
