You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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