Tell her she can't have a vagina
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
