I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
