Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
