Your face is a jimmy john
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
