Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
