I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
