I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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