my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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