Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
