It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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