Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
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