I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Randomize
