He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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