how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
