So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
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