i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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