Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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