I think im going to throw up on grandma
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
