Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
