i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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