i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
