This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize