cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Randomize